Kwik-E-Mart Opens at USF — Without Apu

You’ll have to wait until next year for the Simpsons ride at Universal Studios Florida, but you can buy your souvenirs now.

Yes, Kwik-E-Mart has opened next to the still shrouded ride building in the space formerly occupied by the BTTF gift shop.

I rushed inside hoping to glimpse Apu, but he wasn’t there and neither were any Squishees! There was, however, a very nice Indian lady behind the counter who assured me that it was early days yet and that eventually Squishees would be on offer. Hope she’s right.

Squishee-less, I turned my attention to browsing. The must-have souvenir is a talking doll of Homer, clad only in a towel. Squeeze his hand and he goes through a small repertoire of catchphrases. Best one? His dancing rendition of “Macho Man.”

It’s an unbelieveably stupid — and utterly irresistible — toy. Yours for $30. Hurry before Apu doubles the prices!

Even if you are super-human and can resist that one, it’s worth visiting the Kwik-E-Mart just for the signage.

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